I wasn’t always a believer of Christ because of the way I was raised. I was born to two very lost parents who did the best they could with what they had. My dad was always a heavy drinker as far back as I can remember and my mom was simply a stay-at-home mom who did her very best to take care of six kids. Dad was really mean, both verbally and physically, when he was drinking.This caused a lot of emotional pain for all of us; I believe that he did more emotional damage during that time to us than any physical harm he could have ever done.
At 15, I started smoking weed and drinking. I had my first child around this time too and found a love I had always wanted. My dad continued to stir up old feelings in my life and I fell back into a depression and unhealthy emotional state. I even went through a miscarriage not long after, and then a divorce. My life began to spiral out of control quickly. I found myself in an abusive relationship. After taking all that I could after he locked me in a room for two days while emotionally, verbally, and physically abused me, I left him and never looked back. This caused my pain and fears to heighten and I continued the downward spiral. Because of all the abuse I had endured, I was prescribed Xanax and pain pills. This became the new love of my life and took me down faster than I had ever imagined possible.
When I was 21, I met the man of my dreams and fell insanely head-over-heels in love with him. We had a baby boy together and I thought I had the family I always wanted. Unfortunately, I later found out my husband had cheated on me while I was pregnant. That rocked my whole world. I got so depressed and I cried all the time because I just couldn’t understand how someone who loved me so much could ever do that to me. I chose to stay and try to work things out. It did get better for a while, but our relationship took a new turn when we began using meth.
We thought we could keep it under control, but it wasn’t long before we were injecting it every single day. I watched the man I loved most become a monster right in front of my eyes. He became abusive and even tried to kill me one night. My life completely fell apart and I cried out to God begging him to rescue me. Be careful what you ask for. Almost a week later, I was arrested for an old warrant. After spending 30 days in jail, I came to Women of Hope.
Since being here, I have learned of a love and strength that I never thought I would find. God is amazing, and He is doing such big things in my life. I am so thankful for this place and the change it has made in not only myself, but my family’s life as well. I have learned to put old things behind me that no longer serve a purpose or only seek to tear my down. I now reach for heavenly things and find my strength in my Savior, Jesus Christ. I can honestly say that I love the person I am becoming. It truly is a miracle and I could not have done it without this place and all of these people that seek to help lost souls like mine was.